The “D” word

I was calm, cool, and collected until the husband came home and said the “D” word. I refused to hear it, and acted like its not going to happen. Its still a few months out, orders can always change. Who am I kidding? I didn’t have that good of luck.

Deployment.

Nine months to a year and my husband will be with this mistress. Here we go again. Round 2 but, in a different duty station with all new people and no friends. I told myself to stay positive and I can get through this. Round 1, I had it made. Many friends, and I could see family whenever I had money for a plane ticket.

I didn’t exactly know what to expect the first go around. I was this new Army wife with very little information on what was going to happen. In a way, maybe it was better for me not knowing. The only 3 words I knew were Power of Attorney. I had access to pretty much everything if something were to happen, but that was not going through my mind.

The time had come and it was down to the minute, and I was freaking out. He and I both agreed to keep it together until after we left each other for the last time. I said my goodbyes and handed him a note and a keepsake while he was gone. Little did I know, I was in for a world of hurt.

I got into the car and I could barely see to drive. I was a wreck and I had never been so emotionally exhausted before. I cried for days wondering if this deployment would go any faster. I was alone and I had nobody to help me unless I asked for the help, boy… was I stubborn! I didn’t think I could ever miss someone so much!

Deployment Number Two 

I got the POA & the Will….Wait, a Will? 25 years old, and I’m planning a funeral for my husband already. This is way to much. I never thought at this age, I would be signing paper work and explaining how my husband is suppose to be buried. What possessions are going to who? full military honors? Where are you going to be buried? if your spouse dies, who gets your possessions?

16 months later, and he’s gone again. I’m suppose to embrace the suck. Rediscover myself. Make new friends. Find a better job. Understand what its like to live this military life and know that the Army is your “family.” I’ve lived on my own once, and I can do it again.

You’ll never fully understand what its like to live this life until you’ve done it. I’m grateful for the Army and everything it has given us.

 

 

 

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Published by

Jennifer

Hi, I'm Jennifer. I'm a military spouse living life with my wonderful husband. I'm a southern belle at heart, as of right now, our lives are every where in needs of the Army. I have a four year bachelor degree in Healthcare Administration. I love life and the outdoors. I miss my family every single day, but I love the military wife lifestyle. I'm quite a bookworm and I love every minute of it.

11 thoughts on “The “D” word”

  1. Beautiful, I am so glad you took up blogging it’s a wonderful outlet and you give people a wonderful insight to you and your life. “Army /Military” so many people do not understand how much the significant other is going through and having to manage back home by themselves. Keep blogging love, you are a true inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The “goodbyes” never get easier! But, the reunions never get old, either. I pray you will find some solid friendships soon – whether they are among other spouses waiting for the deployment to be over, or are ladies whose spouses are still home!

    Friendships, a good job, and good food/drink make deployments much more bearable.

    Liked by 1 person

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