Such a “Nerd”

a thousand lives

I love to read. Point blank. Period. I love to read romance, true crime, and just about anything else that interests me. From the time I was a toddler to now, I loved reading and picked it up pretty quickly. It was my “Escape.” I was living a thousand lives at one time and I love every single minute of it. Reading sort of became a passion of mine when my husband went into the Army.

The start to it all…

I was a senior in high school and I studied hard and even tried to graduate early (that’s the nerd in me.. right?) but it wasn’t going to happen due to unusual circumstances. I had only two classes and I was home by 10:00 am…. great senior year. My husband was thinking about going into the army and I wasn’t so sure about it, but I supported him no matter what. He re-enlisted and told me he was leaving pretty soon and he wanted to make the best of this relationship (whether or not it was going to last…we weren’t so sure at the time). I was pretty invested in this guy and I wanted to see where things went even when he was miles apart from me, I knew it had to work some how. I spent of my days working and I finally picked up reading. I remember I loved to read, but I let it go for a while thinking maybe it would come back eventually.

Basic training…

Basic training was the start of this rocky relationship, and I was really starting to lose my wits end on how this relationship was really moving forward. When you’re in basic training in the army, its like going back to the old days where writing letters was the only form of communication you really had. Honestly, it was different and a very unique experience. Everything was going great, only to realize, my letters were not getting to him the first few weeks he was in basic training. He would call and I would tell him everything was fine even when he thought everything wasn’t. I was writing him everyday even after long days at work. I finally told myself there had to be another way to make time go by faster within a 3 month time period away from him. I picked up reading and read 4-5 books in 3 months. For me, that was a lot because I don’t really get to read that much especially when I was working weird hours every other day.

My “Escape”

Finally, reading books was making the time fly and I was finally able to say I would see him in the next month or so ahead. It was so hard to be able to find time to really know and understand what was going on in each others lives, when a 5 minute phone call doesn’t suffice to what you’re used to. That 5 minute was the all time high I needed to get through the next few weeks while he was away. I was still reading everyday, and I still remember to this day, I read Heaven is For Real. That book has stuck with me ever since I have finished reading, although I couldn’t tell you the other books I read while he was away.  That is the saddest and the most unbelievable book I’ve ever picked up and read. It took me two days and I was finally finished. I cried like a baby, and what really appalled me is the fact that people would question whether or not is heaven is for real. There is a God and I’m a firm believer in this and always will be. I don’t always follow Gods way sometimes, but I know where I’m going.

 

I love to read…

I’ve never had such a passion for reading as I do now. It might have taken me a few years to finally figure out who I am as a person and what makes me happy. After a long day at work or even after a long day of cleaning house, I love to sit down and read a good book to finish out the day strong. I’m in another world for just a few minutes and I’m satisfied and happy no matter what the circumstances are. I will call myself a “nerd” as some people say, but I’m not ashamed to say I love to read.

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Who’s Me?

As I sit here, I continue to wonder… who am I? Why is my life so significant in this world? I continue to ask myself whats my purpose? why did God put me on this earth? As a teenager, I played sports, loved school, and I had to many friends. I loved my life, it was easy and very simple. My family and I always did everything together, there was nothing I couldn’t tell my parents and I always cherished that. I finally went off to college and experienced some hard times along with some easy ones, but nothing was going to stop me from graduating with my degree. I had it all. I had the man of my dreams, the family that supported me in everything I did and I had countless friends I knew I could depend on.

After graduating college, I became another person. I grew up. I knew the day after I graduated college, life was never going to be the same. I moved over 1,000 miles away from my entire family, my entire life. I was leaving everything behind to maybe find myself and to enjoy life with my better half, my husband. when I moved here, I thought things would be easy and pretty enjoyable, it was for my first part of it.

I stayed at home for 4 months and I hated every minute of it. I hated being stuck in the house all day and remembering what it was like to get out and hang out with friends. I didn’t know anyone, I just moved over 1,000 miles away and I was all alone. I called my parents all the time and it only hurt me more to realize this was a lot harder than I thought. I was drowning in pain a little while after I realized this was not the life I had intended it to be.

I finally accepted my first job after countless interviews and I was so excited! I was making friends and I was finally getting to put my degree to use. I was like a kid in a candy store! Everything was starting to fall into place and I couldn’t have been more stoked to finally get out of the house and make more income to help out my husband. As time went on, I was continuing to make more friends and it was just easy. I had everything I wanted as this point, but something seemed to be missing.

I was happy, happier than I was previously. I really started to question my life as in, Who am I? what is God’s purpose in this world? why did he put me on this earth? was it to get a degree in healthcare administration? was it to be this army wife and follow her husband around everywhere? was it to be the wife who stayed home and took care of kids and the household? why? why? why? For months on end, that’s all I continued to think about.

I’ve become frustrated and irritated because I want to know this question to my answer, but I’ve continued to pray about everything that God is doing in my life. I have a dream to go back to school and become an early childhood education major and teaching little kids in math. It’s always been a dream, I’m going to fight to make this a dream come true, no matter what I do. I’m going to push myself to make this happen. I want to do something for myself and put it to use, and maybe make a difference in a child’s life even if it is just ONE.

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They Never Told Me…

The Army is my family, but they never told me how hard it was going to be going through so much alone. Last year, my husband deployed for the first time overseas. I was devastated, angry, excited (for him), and very nervous. I had never lived in another state away from family or friends, and I never thought it would’ve been so hard. They never told me how you would easily adjust to him not being there, nor hardly getting to talk to him. No matter the conversations we had, you always felt somewhat “alone.” It was so hard being able to cope with everything going on around you, versus what your husband was going through over seas. 

IMG_1830You never knew exactly what he was going through nor could he talk about it for that matter. They never told you that on your worst days, you wouldn’t always be able to talk to them. I learned so much about myself and about my marriage for those 9 months apart. I made so many friends and done things I never thought I would do. I craved for the craziness so I wouldnt have to worry about him or what he was going through. They never told me you would start to feel things differently as the months went by. You wonder if he’s feeling the same way you are or if you are thinking of homecoming. 

They never told me the morning they would leave for deployment, how hard it was going to be to watch them walk away for almost a year. The last thing I wanted to do was cry for two days only wondering that homecoming date, even though you knew it wasnt coming for a very long time. You only make sure your days are filled with nothing but excitement and craziness. 

They never told me that when things fell apart, you were going to have to fix them so he would never notice when he came back. My septic tank in my front yard completely backed up and I had no idea what to do. I was so thankful for one of my closest friends to help me call someone to fix it. I had never been in panic mode before like this before, but I did it! I made this going to be fixed one way or another. 

They never told you the best part of this whole experience is Homecoming. You fall in love all over again. You get to know who they are again and figuring out who you’ve become in the process. You tend to learn more and more about each other as the days go on whether it be good or bad. I learned so much about myself and how much I could handle on my own! I had to learn who my husband was coming back from a foreign country, and I wanted to make sure our marriage was right where we left off. 

This deployment was the hardest obstacle in our marriage. We overcame this within 9 months and there will be plenty more. I love my husband and I’m so incredibly proud of him still to this day. He’s defending our nations flag and putting his life on the line every single day. I’ve learned to never take anything for granted when he’s here and always enjoy the small things in life. Hold your loved ones tight tonight! 

 

Love Always,

I’m A Soldier’s Wife. ❤

 

 

 

They Said This Would Be Worth It…

The typical Army wife. She cooks, cleans, and takes care of the household chores like any other wife would do…but what if I said, this is not what I signed up for. With a deployed husband, you question whether or not your marriage will stay together or fall apart. You want things to work, but you only doubt yourself more and more each day, but they all said this would be worth it.

I work a full time job, I clean, I cook, and I take care of our 2 “kids” (the dog and cat). Everyday is a constant routine of the same thing and it never stops. Every Saturday and Sunday I work and I come home and lay in the bed, why? Because I can. They always said it would never be easy, but they said it would be worth it.

Every night before I go to bed, Facetime & Facebook are the only things that gets me through with talking to my husband. You see snapshot pictures of your friends and their husbands on Facebook talking on Skype, cute right? WRONG. Its hard, harder than even imagining thinking about your husband in a war zone and wondering of every minute and every second if he’s okay. You wonder when is the last time you’ll ever get to see his face or even the words, “I love you” just one more time. But, they said it would be worth it.

Deployment is unbearable. You sleep, think, drink, eat and live that deployment. You realize that your job becomes harder as he leaves and everything else is all on you. Some days feels like the world is crumbling beneath your feet and you just want to move on and go home. At the end of the day, you know what you have to look forward too. Hes almost home and as the time gets closer, the hours grow longer.

 

YOU GOT THIS!

“I’ll See You Soon, Then”

– Dear John

 

 

Learning Who You Are

love and duty HELLO!

It’s been quite a LONG time since I’ve blogged. I’ve been having some withdraws so I thought this post should mean something.

So, here is the million dollar question….What have you learned about yourself in the last year?

Let’s see. For me? Well, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that things are not always going to be as perfect as you want them to be. I discovered that you NEED friends and family by your side when you’ve been in the situation I’m in. You all know I am a military S/O. I’ve known every aspect of the military lifestyle, except living with her own husband. I stayed home for the first 3 years of a our marriage and things were quite rocky at times, but we stuck it out like a strong military couple should do.

The thing is, I’ve learned so much about myself and our marriage in the last year. I’ve learned that it’s hard for me to let go of a lot of things, that being apart is the last thing I want to do, and I have more break downs than I should. BUT, there is nothing that is going to stop me from being his wife. I may not have it all together sometimes, but together I would say, we do have it all. Cliche, I know! ha!

In the last few months, I’ve missed my family unconditionally. I even think about going home and seeing them for a few days, but I know that sometimes, you don’t always get what you want. There are so many emotions that I have experienced in the last few months I didn’t even know I could experience. Is it a bad thing? No, I wouldn’t think so. Although, I’m not the weakest link! In fact, I would say, it makes you stronger. You figure out who you really are and who is going to stand by you in the end. You CANNOT do it alone, especially in this life. You need someone there to talk to and keeping yourself busy. I’m so thankful when/if my husband deploys, I’ll have a support system around to keep me sane and a job to keep me going.

FINE

I Didn’t Sign Up For This

This pretty much sums it up!

Military Spouses of Strength Blog

As my hands nervously clean up the few dishes I had used for breakfast I go through a mental checklist. Animals are in their kennels – check. I have a pen and something for notes – check. I used the bathroom a million, zillion freakin’ times this morning – check. With google map directions faithfully replaying in my head, I was hopefully going to a training offered by ACS – Army Community Services – by the way, welcome to acronym hell. In my infinite wisdom I decided to call ACS and confirm that the training was still a go. Easy enough, right? The representative on the phone was friendly, but wait – there’s a problem. Training isn’t at the Soldier Support Center on Fort Bragg anymore. It was moved to the FRG Center on Pope AFB. What?!? oh – Air Force Base and Family Readiness Group Center. The room began…

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Cooking Therapy….Enjoy!

Hi Everyone!

It’s been a few days since my last post. But, this is not going to be my usual post. I have recently been on Pinterest alot and getting ideas on different meals I want to cook. I was never the type, I ever wanted to cook. I always left the cooking up to my mama.

We’re the typical southern family that whatever you cook either has, butter, groundbeef, or some type of fat in it. I could not gain weight all through grade school. When college struck, I was 20 pounds more than anticipated. I loved college, I stayed stressed and ate every single minute of the day. What they call, “Freshman 15.”

Let’s just say, I officially broke that record.

I missed home alot, which basically drove me to eat more as well. I never thought when I would officially move out of the house, cooking would be some type of therapy for me. I LOVE to cook now! It’s one of my favorite things from being a wife. I’m always looking up a recipe or a meal to make for my husband to see if he approves. There’s always one problem when cooking for my husband:

He doesn’t eat alot.

Usually that means, I’m eating left overs for a few days. Some of the main things I cook are potatoes, desserts, and some type of pasta. Here’s the thing, my crockpot is always being used some way or the other. I don’t know how I survived without a crockpot. It’s one of the many things I love in my kitchen! I could use it everyday, although I don’t.

One of the main dishes I absolutely love to prepare (and so does my husband) is the cheesy, ranch, bacon potatoes.

Cheesy Potatoes

It’s so good for just a meal itself or you can add some other type of vegetable to it. Next time I make it, I believe I will prepare some seasoned pinto beans. In this recipe I use:

1/2 Cheese

1/2 Bacon bits

1 tablespoon of ranch mix

I chop around 5-6 potatoes (just enough for me and my husband)

Cook for 4 – 5 hours in the crockpot

Another recipe I have cooked is a Baked Shrimp Pasta. This was compliments of my husband. He found the recipe on pinterest. I did not think I would like it, but it did have shrimp, So I gave in! 🙂 Here is a preview of what it looked like:

Shrimp Pasta

The recipe can be found on Pinterest. Everything is already cooked accept the pasta, Penne Pasta. I absolutely loved it!

One of the last recipes I tried was a Peach Cobbler from an old recipe book I found. I’m not a fan of peach things, but this was an all time high for me!

Peach Cobbler

The recipe is:

1 (29 oz.) can slice peaches w/ juice

1 (3 oz.) box peach jello

1 box butter yellow cake mix

1 stick of margarine

1 1/2 cup of water.

Pour sliced peaches in 9x9x13 dish. Sprinkle jello over peaches. Sprinkle cake mix over Jello. Slice butter in small squares and stick into cake mix, pour water over top of mixture. Bake at 350 degress for 45 minutes.

These are some of the few recipes I have tried recently and just can’t get enough. This blog really shows you that I absolutely LOVE to cook now. In a sense, its a “Therapy.” I love to put new things together (or even take them out). Hopefully you’ll try some of my favorite recipes and hope you ENJOYYYYY!

The “BackBone”

Hi guys! Sorry it’s been a few days, it’s been really hectic. I thought tonight would be a good night to blog something that’s been on my mind.

Ever had something happen so drastic to you that you weren’t sure how exactly to handle it? This is my current situation! I’m a wife, Army wife as you all know. In this lifestyle, everyday is a constant struggle dealing with the “little” things. By little things, i.e., laundry, dishes, supper, making the bed, anything else you could think of falling into that category.

When you’re an Army wife, YOU are the one who “holds” everything together. You are constantly wondering what needs to be done, how it needs to be done, and making sure it gets done in the timely manner. I recently just found a job (not a career), but it gets me out of the house. I’m actually really excited. I haven’t worked for 7 months and I’m fixing to be standing on my feet constantly. I was so spoiled just staying home and taking care of the house chores. I had a job where I was standing on my feet for 12 hours straight and had absolutely no trouble with, but now that’s all fixing to change. I love working and it’s something I’ve always enjoyed to do. But, in a few months, my husband is getting deployed. I’m not looking forward 9 months of being without him, but at least I have something to keep me sane while he’s gone.

Although, when he’s gone, it’s like my whole world is turned upside down. That may sound a little drastic, but it’s true.

Let me take you back a few steps, when he decided to go into the Army, I was in college. I did not move with my husband right off, (I would have loved too), but things were complicated. 3 years….3 years, I faced alone without my husband. We lived two separate lives in completely different directions.

I honestly didn’t think my marriage was going to last, but this is how your relationship gets tested. I was so in love with my marriage and my husband, that nothing was going to stop me from seeing him or staying with my husband. I flew half way across the country to continue our marriage and work it out. This was by far the worst thing I ever had to endure. So, May 3rd, 2015, I finally moved with my husband. Things are perfect. We have our issues, it’s a marriage..who doesn’t?

When your husband is gone a lot, you have to find things to do with your life. Life doesn’t stop. YOU are the one who is getting up at the crack of dawn making sure the house is clean, the laundry is done, and the dishes are washed. We don’t have kids, so that’s a whole ‘nother story. But, when you’re the wife, you have to hold it together for you, ESPECIALLY for your husband. Because it breaks his heart just as much as it does yours when he walks out that door. You will always be the “backbone” of the relationship even if you don’t think it’s true.

I never really knew how much came with the “military lifestyle” before I moved with him. I visited and saw what he does (not precisely), but I understood. Although, when you’re living in the same house, you get a really good look at the bigger picture.

In reality, I would NEVER change ANYTHING about this marriage or the military. I LOVE every minute of it. I hate when my husband is gone, but I SUPPORT him in what he days every single day.

Marriage!

How To Support a Military Spouse, Sibling, or Parent: 4 Things To Avoid Saying

Perfect, just perfect.

ravensinkwell

My husband recently was deployed on his fourth tour overseas and it doesn’t ever get easier.  In this recent military deployment, with all the political chaos going on I have noticed however, that it has become more uncomfortable for others to know what to say or how to respond to hearing that he is deployed. And that’s okay, it’s a hard time for everyone – but I thought it would help to point out a few things that would make it so much easier.    I’ve come up with just a few of the most common reactions in the hopes that it will educate and promote understanding as well as support those who are in our same shoes.  This isn’t meant to be a downer, but to encourage everyone to really dig deep and support our servicemen and women and their families left behind as they go on to serve…

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“Love Without End, Amen”

George Straight said it best, “Daddies don’t just love their children every now and then, It’s a love without end, Amen”….Genius right? That’s what my dad always said. My dad LOVED George Strait. The GREATEST country music singer alive (so dad proclaimed). Don’t get me wrong, he was great! But, I’m more a fan of the modern country now. (Sorry Dad). 

Times have been more trying than ever. I uprooted my life and left my family behind to be with the man of my dreams! Things are great, and life couldn’t be better. The one person that struggled the most with this, my dad. My hero, the first man to ever love me, and my inspiration in life. He’s guided me through every step of my life. Just recently, I visited family back home. It was an amazing 10 days, but then I was back to my 2nd home with my husband. Before we made the long journey home (14 hours to be exact), my dad had gave me an envelope of something, but I couldn’t open it until we left. 

That envelope changed everything. 

Inside the envelope, a letter. The letter that contained the first line, “I remember when…” I instantly lost it. Every emotion ran through me. My husband had never seen me cry like that before. That 6 page letter was the best letter I had ever gotten. It was so hard to even think about what I was going to say to my dad after that experience. My dad is my hero, my inspiration, and the first man that ever loved me. My mom and my dad are my everything. They pick me up when I’m down and always know the right thing to say. 

After leaving home, I knew things would never really be the same. My life has changed, it’s awesome! May 3rd, I knew there would be no other conversation besides tears. Tears of joy for me, but tears of sadness because I was leaving the one thing I could always count on in life. I know I can always count on my parents being there for me. 

There will always be life altering changes sometime or another. In the end, your family will always be there and I couldn’t be more happier to know they’ll always have my back. 

goodbye